By Joanna Jones
I have had my share of embarrassing times in my dressing life. Once in the early days when I had to dare myself to go into Walmart, I went into the store wearing a very light weight circle skirt. As I was halfway into the store, a lady came up behind me and whispered in my ear that my skirt was caught in the middle of my back and showing everything. Oh, my! Back then it was a disaster in the making. Nowadays I might have said to myself yippie as I ‘slowly’ pulled the skirt down. Back then, it was humiliating at first, but I was able to complete my shopping.
One year in Vegas was a funny situation. I was walking down the strip a mile or so to my night show event. I was wearing a dripping hot little black dress with heels heading down the sidewalk. Click clack went my shoes. I was wearing my usual butt pads along with my hip pads. Those hip pads were made out of silicon. A little bit on the heavy side. I only had it held up my the waistband of my nylons. Half way to my nightclub right in front of the Venetian, I happen to look down at my legs and saw that the hip pads were slowly sliding down my leg inside my nylons. Starting to show those pads to everyone. The night was busy. People everywhere. I stood in front of the fencing and tried to pull them up. In order to do this, I had to lift up my short little skirt. I thought everyone was watching me since I was a crossdresser. Oh boy! After at least 10 minutes, I was able to get both of them out before they slid to my knees. Unfortunately, I had to toss them in a trash barrel since I only had my small purse with me.
On many of my travels across the country, I had one incident when I pulled off to the side a road in the mountains. I had a pickup truck with a topper on the back. Somehow I left the keys in the front seat. When I closed the door to go to the back I instantly realized that I had locked the door. I tried as I might stop the door from closing but I failed. I was wearing the most outrageous girly outfit. What the hell do I do now? I was all dressed up in girly mode I started to shake. We had no cell phones back then. Only a lonely mountain road with a few cars here and there. And the occasional biker on his hot rod. Oh boy. Now what. I luckily had the back topper unlocked. But no tools to speak of. Just a small screwdriver. My biggest concern was a cop pulling up in back. (Which by the way I have had several in the past that did ask if I was having any car problems.)
Well, I had no choice. I had to take the back window seal out and pop the glass out. This, however, took me awhile to get it done. Years later when I sold the truck, the window was still out.
Another occasion was when I went to a large mall. This was again when I had to dare myself to go inside. I think about this now and kind of laugh. I guess all of us crossdressers have a beginning time period when dressing up the public was such a big deal. Now, it does not work that way at all. There is no fear. There is no shame. It is all about doing something normal.
Anyway, this time, I had to park in a parking structure. Well on my way out I failed to exactly remember where I had parked. I was already in a panic mode before I left the mall. It was getting busy and I was feeling like I just had to get out fast. I think you know the rest of the story. Here I am trying to find my car and can not for the life of me figure out what row. Turns out I was not on the right floor. Oh boy. I thought the car was stolen. Then what! Can you spell PANIC ATACK!!!!
This next adventure was not necessary a bad embarrassment. 30 years ago when I drove to cross the border into Canada, I was wearing my girly outfits daring myself to go all the way without changing. And I did. However, the guards in Canada wanted to do a search of my truck. I had to pull into a building where they did a search while I was standing in the office. You know what? Afterward, I had so much fun doing it, that I got even more girly and frilly on the trip back to the USA a few days later. This time, however, security just checked my ID and let me through without doing anything. I guess it was a little let down. I was hoping for the full on searching with me forced out of my car for all to see on display.