By Babette Jones
While I'm pretty sure many aspects of transgederism are inherited, I also am convinced that many aspects of bondage fascination/obsession are environmental. My shrink 20 years ago quoted imprinting studies that made sense to me ( I have a degree in psychology, among other things).
It states "...
Why some people imprint so strongly still isn't clear. Freud probably came close in believing it was due to intense persistence of early anxieties, which need displacement. But variety in human behavior is necessary, especially among bored, anxious young people. "
"... Provided it brings pleasure, rather that bringing, as it so unfortunately often does, guilt and anxiety, even the many forms of fetishism can be harnessed into a happy form of adult behavioral release. And the simple truth is the subject can't help themselves. They are driven by his imprinted need to satisfy their obsession. Mostly they feel no real wish to be cured. The only limiting factor is their own confusion and feelings of guilt and self-doubt..."
Sometimes happy accidents start a love for bondage.
How I Imprinted
But how does this happen? Imprinting is a well known phenomenon where a developing person is very open to various stimuli at specific stages of their upbringing. It basically hard wires the brain for life and is well known by developmental experts and educators. In my case I was raised in the country in a fairly boring climate with one notable exception. I would go to town alone every day to pick up my newspapers to deliver. I picked up my papers at the regional bus depot and there they were... every day staring back at me. Detective magazine covers depicting beautiful women in artistic bondage poses. I was too embarrassed to approach the rack closely and read some of the crime related captions but I easily saw and apparently drank in the images. This is the mechanism that hooked me during my impressionable years. I have no interest in the other fetishes often associated with bondage such as domination, sadism or masochism. Possibly if I had read the stories I might be into those aspects as the stories often hinted at D. S. and M. But I only imprinted on the pictures and to me they were positive and esthetically beautiful.
T-Girls and bondage
How the tgirl aspects enter in is less clear and I think they are mostly separate. It has been suggested that being a woman has submissive elements, and bondage would be a way for a tgirl to experiment with another aspect of (perceived) femininity. As I mentioned earlier the T girl thing was (imo) largely inherited and at any rate started at age 5 and not years later as bondage did.
I've seen very little literature, but am convinced there is another strong mechanism working. This is especially useful for people with nervous disorders and a difficulty with relaxation. I had a "nervous breakdown" in fourth grade and life long nervous problems. In addition to a constellation of other feelings bondage really relaxes me. Although this may seem odd on first blush, it's pretty common for animals to enter a zen sort of relaxed state when they are blindfolded and subdued. I clearly have this zen like reaction at times.
Guilt and Anger
Then there's the guilt, the gift that keeps on giving. Raised Catholic by a mom who was excommunicated from the church leaves me with a combination of guilt and anger. The guilt never leaves as it too was imprinted in me, as well as millions of others, at a very impressionable age. Quite simply bondage removes responsibility and it's concomitant partner guilt. I think if I was angrier I might be more of a masochist by turning the anger inward. I can't imagine being really angry at other people very often so I often take conflict aversion to an extreme.
Enjoying life is the best revenge and comedy is my favorite vehicle. My depictions often leave a campy or downright hysterical impression. Whatever your peccadilloes or tragedies might be, the ability to eventually laugh at them and get others to do the same renders them almost painless and harmless. My intention is not to distract from the artistic but to enhance the emotional experience. At any rate if I tried to be serious, it would only turn out even funnier.
I have largely turned the tgirl thing into a positive in my life as I'm in a show and have widespread acceptance. I actually make reasonable money working in my show and it's a great 'bully pulpit' for my comedic outlooks. Email me if you are interested in details about these shows.
This web site is an attempt to 'make lemonade' out of what seems to be yet another one of life's lemons. As I have proceeded I have found thousands of kindred spirits around the world. If nothing else comes from this site, that alone will make it worthwhile.
Science, narcissism or psychobabble?
...You be the judge. As Woody Allen says "...the reason we don't get help for my uncle who thinks he's a chicken is because we need the eggs...". Or to quote Hunter S. Thompson "...when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro..."
Best Regards: Babette