This Girl Inside Of Me
By Heather Stevens
A fun hetero CDer who only gets to dress when the rare opportunity arises. I do love making friends on line. I have, as most girls, had this "girl" inside of me for years. It is through my friends that she gets a chance to express herself, and to also appreciate the other beautiful girls in this community.
Where do we all start? Was it back when we were just kids, interested in Mom's and sister's pretty cloths and wondering why ours were always so drab, with coarse materials and pretty much neutral colors? Or do we start back when the internet sprung upon us when many of us were struggling with identities....Thats where I think Heather truly did find out that there were others out there just like her! This of course happened in te 90's...pre digital cameras as well. My first re-introduction back into the glorious world of femininity probably occured with an ex (many exes ago) girl friend. Dabbling here and there with a fun activity we had, which found us dressed in the opposits cloths rekindled that yearning for more. I left CA over 15 years ago and stumbled back into New England. Found a woman from a local corner paper advertising makeovers and ventured a call. I had no real cloths or makeup and the experience while nervous at best rocked me! This is where Heather was born, as I had not yet found the name....after making me up and dressing me in some sexy items, she asked if I had a name. She noted I looked like one of the "Heathers'" from that movie from way back with Christian Slater, and Heather was born!
After having retickled Heather's dressing funny bone, I found a girl on line (AOL...was a Pink Kittie in fact) who looked fabulous and she introduced me to Jamie Austin. This was early Jamie days, prior to affiliation with the Glamour Boutique, and Jamie came to my hotel and did my first real makeover. Talk about a night where I thought about destiny and that Heather was about to really take over who I was!!
This was all occuring during a bad marrriage and where I was traveling excessivly with a job. I actually went out to many clubs back then in Atlanta, Nashville, Detroit, Boston and Philly. I learned I loved to dance actually back then as well.
Well....time line forward...remarried. Wih kids even and I simply adore my wife. One big boo boo...I never revealed the other prettier side of who I am, and now find myself hiding and feeling a bit deceitful at best. I worry about the hurt I could inflict upon those I love due to my mistake, so limit my time out these days. I still LOVE to dress and just adore those friends I have made on line (I think you all know who you are.... ) and it is with your support that I continue on. It is through venues such as this that I still try to bring Heather to life. It is my one true artistic form actually having felt that as a child I sucked at art.....but I do love makeup and how one can transform from a drab like guy into someone I really think is a pretty woman. Flaws I still have, and the one that comes to mind most is that I never can seem to dress my true age......must be those years of missed feminine opportunities.
So here I am....Heather in Black and White....I could probably write a book, but limited to this small note of who I am. I am first and formost a dedicated Husband and a loving Dad.....who just likes to let his hair down and play among the beautiful.