SHES Whispering In My Ears

By Ailana Nata
O.K., My story is very similar to that of so many others here.

I had been dressing on and off since my early childhood. I always fellt the urge to live my feminine side too. When I left the house of my parents at 18, I had a small wardrobe and little expiriance in dressing, but a good complexion, and a trimm figure. By the time I met my wife eleven years ago, my wardrobe was extended and so where the numbers of selfmade pic´s. Although, like allways in my life, I dressed only at home in the closet.

Soon after we met, we married as I realy was -and still am- mad of love for her.Like so many, I hesitated to tell my wife about my longings, threw away most of my feminine items and tried to live a "normal" life. Two years went by without any "session" at all. Then the urge to give my feminine side some place on earth again was to much to bear, so I started to dress again, very hidden and caucious. I thought on and on about telling my wife, always fearing her reaction, for over three years, until finaly I took all my bravado and told her.

---- Desaster -----!!!!

We nearly broke and our marriage was on the brink of divorce. My beloved and caring wife could and still can not accept that I´m not only her husband and a "man", but a woman (at least in my imagination) too. Although loving me too, she only comitted to go on in our partnership if I cut of my feminine side, threw away all my feminine belongings and (to ensure I will never dress again) let grow a beard, at leasr a mustach.(Nowadays Photoshop can help with that alittle but not in reality)

So here I am now, I´m well in my thirtys too much weight, early balding , married to a still wonderful wife and father of two nice Kid´s entering their teens soon. living a perfect "normal" life in a nice neighbourhood.

But every time theese last couple of years there was "she" , staring back at me from mirrors, visiting me in my dreams, whispering in my ears, to follow her on a forbidden, but joyful road. In the last months this whispering grew louder and louder until it wasn´t ignorable anymore.

So a week ago, I started to dress again striktly in the secret, always fearing to be detected. It would be the coup de gras for our perfect mariage, if my wife ever finds out.

At last let me tell you a lttle bit about my sexual orientation. I am a man. I love and adore women (my own wife in first place). If I where a real woman I would be gay, because I´d still preferre other women. This was simple, wasn´t it?

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